I did win my war against Chaucer.  Mr C was no match for the power of love.  Perhaps I was lucky again.  When I met him, Chaucey was dying of vaccine-related cancer.  I did extend his life.  I learnt Chaucey had started to eat less and less.  Once I was in the house, he began to eat more.  His selfishness was so enormous that he ate in a futile effort to deny me food.  He also, like most right-wing cranks, tried to blame his cancer on vaccines.  Now if you’re a right wing-crank listen up.  And even if you imagine you’re not a right-wing crank, listen up, for it is rare for a right-wing crank to know he is a right-wing crank.  Repeat after me:  Vaccines can cause illness, even killing illnesses, even though vaccines are beneficial on the whole.  Repeat that.  You should know it.  You believe that about guns.  It’s what right-wing cranks say when anybody dares mention the number of people blowing their own brains out or shooting dead family members, rather than burglars, every year.             

Now being inside had plenty of advantages.  Free food, a nice sofa, pets, a nurse to care for me, and leisure to think and write.  Now anybody with a brain knows cats can’t type or hold a pen.  They don’t need to, provided they have a scribe.  The house came equipped with a “mike.”  He became my scribe.  I also use him as my amanuensis.  Don’t tell him.  He likes to imagine he is writing fiction when he is just channeling me. Without mike, my career in journalism would have gone nowhere.