Operation Gobble stayed a mystery to me back then.  I had a few putative pieces of what I suspected was a vast jigsaw puzzle.  That’s it. During this time, Wolverine wrote stories for the Moscow Times.  In stories that should have insulted even a moron’s intelligence, Wolverine told stretchers about life as a louche Army Sapper’s wife, life as a keen CBRNE trainee, or life as a driver of military vehicles of all kinds.  As often as not, Wolverine titillated his Russian readers with tales of Army wives that would have shamed Madame du Barry. If that trollop du Barry’s name rings no bells, then picture Tallulah Bankhead, Lindsay Lohan, Courtney Love, or, indeed, Wolverine’s mum, Constance Lawless. You’ll then know what what Wolverine conveyed about Army wives. Wolverine depicted soldiers as industrious Sad Sacks.

Wolverine wrote a few substantive pieces about a possible move of NGA from Saint Louis; however, he opined NGA would stay in Saint Louis.   Beneath the avalanche of mindless fluff that occurred beneath Wolverine’s byline, substantive work did appear. For example, Wolverine seemed to have plenty of good information about Putin’s doing. From Putin’s adventures, he distilled a hagiography of Putin. 

From talks with Snarlson, who was still wearing bowties that stop circulation to a man’s brain, I can testify that Snarlson and Donald Trump, two ready friends of Truth, insisted that Wolverine was writing the true news about what a swell guy Putin was and is.  They even welcomed a a salacious story about Donald’s alleged evening with urinating hookers. Snarlson argued this alleged Trumpian pee-pee party was a grotesque exaggeration of the liberal press.  Besides, a man as rich as Donald Trump would, if the fake news about this evening were true, have been pissing on the whores, not vice versa, as odious purveyors of fake news pretended. 

In Wolverine’s Moscow Times columns, he went so far as to quote nameless Russian security experts.  According to them, “They had no records of the alleged events at a Moscow Hotel room located at . . ..  Further, if the events occurred, perhaps they happened between 22.00 and . . . hours, etc., etc., etc.”  Wolverine touted his sources’ reports as an exoneration of Donald.   With Wolverine’s columns in hand, Snarlson hit the air snarling.  He screamed sundry evildoers were conspiring to humiliate Trump.  And why?  “Because they hate America.”  Thus spake Snarlson!

When had the chance, I asked Melania if she believed these Moscow stories. She began laughing with so much fury I feared she was going to have a cardiac arrest.  And I never did get an answer from her.  Whenever I asked, she would laugh and laugh and laugh.  She seemed to have, at best, guarded confidence in Donald’s fidelity.

One evening when I asked, after a fit of laughter, she pointed at a photograph of Donald (the Penthouse brimmed with them). Then she blurted out, “Does that look like the face of a pervert?” Then she began to cackle hysterically.  Earlier that evening, she had told me she had no idea Donald had a pee phobia. She snicked as she told me she learned of it from Snarlson reassuring the public on Fox.

It did begin to dawn on me that Operation Gobble had more to it than the gaining control of national secrets held by the Army or the NGA, just as the one Holy Apostolic Church is about more than its material holdings. 

Operation Gobble extended far beyond the accumulation of software materiel and software to win battles, or intelligence necessary to make better weapons and software.  Like the Church, Operation Gobble aimed to obtain loving allegiance and control over minds. And unlike the Church, Operation Gobble had no intention of making the grave error of ceasing to burn witches.  Neither Lord Cali nor Peregrine Blonde-Body planned to coddle apostates.